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Well, yes! If it's good alcohol, it won't taste terrible.
[she says, as if it's the simplest thing in the world. when they tighten their embrace, she shifts a little, but stays settled.]
...well, I suppose that's good, then...?
[if they wanted to forget something, it's better if they can't remember it!]
[she says, as if it's the simplest thing in the world. when they tighten their embrace, she shifts a little, but stays settled.]
...well, I suppose that's good, then...?
[if they wanted to forget something, it's better if they can't remember it!]
...I'm not sure if it's good that I make you forgetful, but I'm glad I could help?
[she smiles and snuggles up to them.]
[she smiles and snuggles up to them.]
[...hm.
her hold on them tightens almost protectively.]
They can go away and stay away.
her hold on them tightens almost protectively.]
They can go away and stay away.
...when you came back, I was convinced that you were going to hate me.
[because, y'know, the dead knew about eleanor.]
I wouldn't have blamed you for it. [after all, who wants to be friends with a murderer?] ...I kind of hated me.
[so. there's that.]
So the fact that you're still my friend, now... it means a lot. And it makes a lot of things easier.
[because, y'know, the dead knew about eleanor.]
I wouldn't have blamed you for it. [after all, who wants to be friends with a murderer?] ...I kind of hated me.
[so. there's that.]
So the fact that you're still my friend, now... it means a lot. And it makes a lot of things easier.
...
[That's right. Seeing it all, they had been more than upset. Someone who they looked up to, respected, saw as a pure figure, stooping to something like murder? They could hardly believe it.]
[But now...]
[Now they know the truth, don't they?]
...You told me what happened. And I...appreciated you didn't try to defend yourself for what you had done, really. All in all, Qingxuan...I think you're a good person.
[That's right. Seeing it all, they had been more than upset. Someone who they looked up to, respected, saw as a pure figure, stooping to something like murder? They could hardly believe it.]
[But now...]
[Now they know the truth, don't they?]
...You told me what happened. And I...appreciated you didn't try to defend yourself for what you had done, really. All in all, Qingxuan...I think you're a good person.
See, that's what I mean. When I start...
[her voice trails off. it's not when she starts remembering what happened; she's never really managed to forget it. how to rephrase it...
...when the memories are harder to handle, I'm also able to remember that despite everything, you still like me enough to be my friend. [she manages a small smile.] It chases the bad things away, just like that.
[her voice trails off. it's not when she starts remembering what happened; she's never really managed to forget it. how to rephrase it...
...when the memories are harder to handle, I'm also able to remember that despite everything, you still like me enough to be my friend. [she manages a small smile.] It chases the bad things away, just like that.
Well, yes... but you're the first person that comes to mind.
[they're not inconsequential to her. they never have been.]
[they're not inconsequential to her. they never have been.]
[Douman is still very much drunk right now but also the weight of that statement sure does hit them like a bag of bricks in addition to the alcohol.]
Oh. [They just manage to say, their cheeks burning - she can probably feel it, with how close they are.] Oh...
Oh. [They just manage to say, their cheeks burning - she can probably feel it, with how close they are.] Oh...
[she smiles, reaching up to pat their cheek again. oh, warm...]
See? So, just know - you do manage to keep the bad things away for me. If that's one of your goals, you've achieved it.
See? So, just know - you do manage to keep the bad things away for me. If that's one of your goals, you've achieved it.
Good!
[she beams at them]
You should always be happy. You deserve that.
[she beams at them]
You should always be happy. You deserve that.
You do.
[...]
Having things to make up for doesn't mean you don't deserve to be happy, you know.
[...]
Having things to make up for doesn't mean you don't deserve to be happy, you know.
...
[she reaches up to run a hand through their hair]
...do you think that's true of everyone who has things to make up for, Douman?
[she reaches up to run a hand through their hair]
...do you think that's true of everyone who has things to make up for, Douman?
[well, since they seem to be comforted by that, she certainly won't stop.]
You've acknowledged that, though. You're a step ahead of a lot of people who won't even admit that they did wrong. Surely that counts for something.
You've acknowledged that, though. You're a step ahead of a lot of people who won't even admit that they did wrong. Surely that counts for something.
[A shake of the head.]
...Acknowledging it doesn't mean the same as making up for it. Anyone with eyes can acknowledge one is a bad person. But I have to work...so hard to overcome it. Overcome my very nature, which threatens to ruin everything, I feel.
...Acknowledging it doesn't mean the same as making up for it. Anyone with eyes can acknowledge one is a bad person. But I have to work...so hard to overcome it. Overcome my very nature, which threatens to ruin everything, I feel.
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